


jet fuel can't melt steel beams

by triangular



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: BUT ONLY BECAUSE HE JUST GOT FUCKIN REVEALED SO WE BARELY KNOW SHIT, F/M, I DON'T FUCKING KNOOOWWWWWW, also i rambled on for waaaaay too long whooooops, but i just.....i couldn't help it, fuck me okay, he's like....kinda like an older dipper?????, so he's kinda ooc?, someone wanted post portal stanley okay they got it, we know he's a fuckin nerd so i went with that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-03
Updated: 2015-04-03
Packaged: 2018-03-21 02:16:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3673776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/triangular/pseuds/triangular
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>u fuckin' slut</p></blockquote>





	jet fuel can't melt steel beams

“Ya sure you can handle going out to town by yourself, bro?”

“Yeah, I have to handle the change on my own. Plus, I've been dying for a smoke and you know I don't do it around kids.”

“Well...” Stanford drawled, still unsure of his brother's decision. He'd only been back for a few days and yet he was already so hasty to rediscover society. That was so typical of him. “You got the thirty bucks I gave you and the old cellphone Soos repaired. My number's programmed in there, so call me if you need me. It's already three o' clock, so don't stay out too late.”

“Uh-huh,” Stanley patted the pockets of his pants that paired the Hawaiian shirt he'd borrowed from his twin. “Got it, _Dad_.”

“Yeah, yeah, fuck you too, bro,” Stanford smirked as he waved his brother away. “Have fun, don't be a nerd!”

With pep in his step, Stanley began walking the trail into the town. As he crossed into the threshold of the hubbub, he pulled out a pad and paper from his back pocket and began taking notes.

“The cars of this time definitely aren't as nice-looking. But hopefully they're safer, I never liked the way Stan drove,” he mused to himself as cars passed, making rough sketches.

Every time he spotted someone he recognized, he excitedly wrote comparisons to their old selves (he simply shook his head when he saw Toby). He wanted to approach them, but felt like it would be a little too awkward, all things considered. There was one specific person he was looking for, but so far he couldn't be found.

After a while he reached a convenience store and bought himself a long-awaited pack of cigarettes and a lighter and was barely out the door before one was lit.

“God _damn_ it's been too long,” he quietly announced, huffing out smoke.

He wanted to see a movie, but once he saw the steep price and was told he couldn't smoke in the theater (jeez, when did they ban that?) he backed off.

And that's when he saw the arcade.

It was no use trying to refute the fact he was a bit of a geek, so it was only inevitable that he dashed right over. After all, if he was a pro at Puck-Man, he could totally beat these new-age games. He quickly finished his cig and went in.

Sixty quarters and a couple hours of eye strain later and Stanley had successfully put his mark on a good amount of the games' high scores. Not like it impressed any of the teens present, but they were probably just jealous.

Stanley fished the phone out of his pocket and checked the time. Five-thirty. If his math was right, he still had about ten bucks, so he figured he could get a few beers and be back home in time for dinner.

The location of the old bar was still ingrained in his memory, as it used to be his refuge when he was frustrated and needed to wind down and be away from it all, even those two...

Stanley briefly wondered if _he_ ever visited that bar now, but shook it off. He didn't want to think about it today.

He reached the bar and noticed they changed it up a little with a bouncer, who seemed to recognize him.

“Ain't you Stan Pines?”

“I, er...yes?” Stanley squeaked, surprised someone recalled him.

“Well, come on in! Thanks again for showing us what a maggot that Lil Gideon was. You look different. Less gray,” the large man noted, opening the door.

“Oh, uh, thanks. Have a good one,” Stanley said awkwardly, taking his entrance.

The bouncer was almost taken aback by Stan's uncharacteristic manners, but assumed he was just having a good day.

The interior was almost identical to as it was thirty years ago, save for a few decorations and the crowd. Much more testosterone-filled than before. If he were his younger self, he'd definitely feel his masculinity threatened. But he'd been through some shit.

He hopped on a barstool, ordered a draft, and began taking notes again.

“Skull Fracture...is...a...sausage fest...” he mumbled to himself as he wrote.

“ _Snrk_ , I'm sorry?” You laughed from your seat next to him.

He immediately looked up. “Oh. Er. Nothing, just talking to myself.”

“No, no, I'm on your side. I work here—just got off—it does tend to be a bit...manly. To say the least. Key example right behind you,” you nodded past his shoulder where Manly Dan was once again breaking the arm-wrestling machine, accompanied by his cheerleader Tyler.

“Ah, reminds me of my twin brother. He tells me he punched a dinosaur in the eye once,” he said, taking a drink from his glass.

“Pfft, you may look like an older man, but I highly doubt you're that old.”

“That's what I said! But even my grandkids backed him up. I swear, they're just trying to psyche me out.”

“Grandkids, eh?” You asked, swirling your small cup of water. “...Your wife fine with you going out to bars?”

He fell silent. “I...don't exactly have one. Let's leave it at that.”

“I see,” you mumbled, watching him as he took another swig of beer when you noticed something.

“Woah, lemme see your hand?”

He choked on his drink and slammed the glass down, shoving his hands in his pockets.  
Once an insecurity, always an insecurity.

“I...I've got to go.”

He drew out of his seat and tried to leave, but you called after him. “No, hey! I think it's cool! Besides, you, ah, _can't leave without paying for your drink!_ ”

The bar fell silent and tens of eyes fell on him.

“Shit,” he cursed under his breath, retracing back to the bar as the noise returned.

He gave you an icy glare as he pulled out the money for his drink and handed it to the bartender on duty, giving you another chance to examine his six-fingered hands.

“Come now, that's really amazing!” You admired, caressing his hand with yours. “That makes you truly one-of-a-kind! I wish I had something that special about me.”

“Yeah, something that people mock you for? Call you a freak?” He grated, pulling his hand away.

“Hey, maybe they were jealous themselves! The most important part is for _you_ to be able to accept yourself, you know.”

“I've had decades to accept myself, chickadee. And, to be frank, these extra digits have been the least of my issues.”

“Sounds like you got a lot on your plate, big man. Care to indulge? I'd love to listen. Hell, I'll even buy you a drink.”

He looked pensive and finally sighed and took a seat. “What I'm going to tell you I haven't even told my brother. I know you probably won't believe me, but I have to tell someone.”

You nodded and, after buying him a scotch, proceeded to hear one of the most fantastical stories that, as unbelievable as it sounded, you really felt like you could trust. Something about him was truly sincere. The both of you eventually realized you hadn't properly introduced yourselves and swapped names and you gave him some insight on his tale.

“...But you really shouldn't keep this kind of stuff bottled up. If this is true, by all means, tell your brother. Find that guy. This seems important.”

Stanley shrugged. “I guess. I just have to find the right time. So what about you?”

“Uh,” you shifted your gaze. “What about me?”

“I'd just like to hear about some normalcy, you have no idea how much I've missed it.”

“Oh, sure. Well, I...just got out of a relationship. I work a mediocre job with clearly the best clientele, I still live with my 'rents, I go on the internet a lot, and...that's pretty much it.”

“Uh-huh,” he said, hands interlaced in front of his face. “And this 'internet' thing...”

You tried to hold back your laughter. “Computers connecting to servers and stuff. There's a lot of content, like reading the news online, doing chats, streaming music, playing games with people across the world and—this part I think you'll like,” you leaned in close, him following suit, “porn.”

“W-what?!” He blurted, jumping back.

“Haha, yep! All online, totally free! From bukkake to BDSM!”

“Far out,” he mouthed to himself. “—Wait, why are you telling me this?!”

You grinned, biting your lip. “No reason. You're an older man, no wife, out of the game at this point. Just thought I'd help you out. Besides, everyone watches it, I guarantee you.”

He made some confused sound and burst out, “'Out of the game?!' God, how old do you think I am? I could score if I tried!”

You raised an accusatory eyebrow. “You just got back to civilization. Sure you even know how to talk to women? I mean, _I_ initiated this conversation.”

“Well...” He paused. “True. I was never good even when I was younger. That was more of my brother's job, being the ladykiller,” he chuckled. “I'll be honest with you, not getting any real action in thirty years is a real damper on the soul.”

A saucy smile was plastered on your face and you put a hand on his knee. “You know, I could help you with that.”

He formed a surprised face (which was a surprise in itself that he didn't see that coming) and stuttered, “N-no, no, that's okay. I mean, we just met and you're...so young!”

You rolled your eyes. “As if your dick would know any better, Stanley. Your options in this town are severely limited and I'm offering to fuck you out of the goodwill of my heart and you're sincerely saying _no?_ ”

He tugged at the collar of his cheesy shirt. “I've just never done anything like this before,” he fretted, “And it's been so long...”

“Don't worry, I'll make sure it's good for ya,” you winked. “Whaddaya say?”

He bit his lip and scratched his stubbled chin. “I...sure. Where at?”

“Ladies' room,” you nodded toward the signed door. “I'm the only woman here to worry about.”

“What if someone spots me going in?”

“Heh, trust me,” you scoffed as you got up from your stool, smoothing your pants, “These guys are far too absorbed in their own business to notice.”

He followed you into the rather clean restroom where you began to strip yourself of your clothes almost too casually. But, hell, he was one foxy grandpa and you'd been looking to get fucked.

Once the last of your clothes were off, you leaned against the sink counter and caught him blankly looking at you as if this was the first time he'd seen a naked woman in thirty years. Which...it probably was.

“Ahem?”

“Oh, right,” he said, caught slightly embarrassed, quickly unbuttoning and taking off his hideously-cute tourist shirt, followed by his khaki pants and boxers.

His body was impressive for an older man, his chest was well-exercised and decorated with hairs, his arms and legs looked strong, and he was rather nicely-equipped for someone who didn't use it very often.

“Well, c'mere, big man,” you beckoned, getting down on your knees.

He complied and stood with his cock hanging inches from your face. Something about his stance and the way he rubbed the back of his neck spoke volumes about his uneasiness.

You took his length in your hand and began to pump it smooth and slow, reassuring him, “No need to be so shy, Stanley-baby.”

He sharply inhaled through his teeth and exhaled, “I know, I know. Just give me some time to get used to it.”

You hummed in response and eased into quicker strokes on his hardening dick, watching the lust creep onto his face, whether he'd admit it or not.

“Is this good for you?” You asked seductively.

“Y-yeah,” he stammered in agreement, “Real, ah, real jive...”

“Mm, so you think you're ready to take me?”

“I guess.”

“You... _guess?_ ”

“Honestly, I'm still not sure about any of this. The past few days have felt like a dream.”

“Well then,” you said, standing yourself up, “Let's continue the fantasy, shall we?”

You connected into a firm kiss and traced a hand over his body, from his strong shoulders to his firm ass.

“So,” you asked again breathlessly after breaking the connection, “you ready?”

“As much as I can be,” he grinned.

You moved and bent over the sink counter, spreading your legs invitingly.

He stood behind you and grabbed your asscheeks with his firm hands and prodded the tip of his cock against your folds for a moment as if he was processing something.

“Uh. Wouldn't you want me to use—?”

“I'm on the pill. And God knows it's better to fuck raw.”

He was momentarily taken aback by how blunt you were, but gave a small chuckle to himself and proceeded on, penetrating your walls.

“ _Yesss_ , that's the stuff,” you moaned.

“Shit, I've definitely missed this feeling,” Stanley grunted as he slowly pumped inside of you.

“Come on, big boy, fuck me _hard_ ,” you whined, “Let all that pent-up pressure out!”

He mumbled something to himself about “not wanting to hurt you” and soon changed his modus operandi, pounding deeply and quickly.

“Ahhh, _fuck_ , that's it, Stanley!” you wailed, knowing your cunt was going to be sore later.

Between your own moans you could hear his deep groans and hitched breathing.

“Mmh...fuuuck...”

His fingers were digging into your body as he gripped on, causing a pain that was all too enjoyable.

The force of his body pushing against yours was driving you nuts, it felt too good...

You were somewhat impressed by what a good fuck he was, considering how he acted outside.

Though, that was hardly a thing you could focus on as you were getting your pussy stuffed with Stanley's hot dick.

His thrusts were becoming more erratic as he grew closer to his end.

“A-ah...I-I'm going to come...do you want me to pull—?”

“Come inside me, fill me up with your cum, baby,” you managed to say a lot less desperately than it should've sounded.

“F- _fuck!_ ” he boomed, his cum bursting out with a final few pumps.

He pulled out and you briefly sucked clean the tip of his cock as he leaned against the counter to take a breather, paying no mind to the drips of cum leaking out your cunt.

After a few moments to collect both of your thoughts, he awkwardly drawled, “So...thank you.”

“Ah. Yeah, no problem. Really.”

He walked over to his pile of clothes and began to put them on. “I mean...you didn't have to, but you did. So that's something.”

“Yup.” You felt like he was trying to get to something.

“And uh...” He was already on to buttoning that shirt. He was fast. “If you ever see my brother, please don't tell him.”

So that's it. “Por que, seniorito?”

“Uh...I don't know. Nothing against you, of course! Just, I feel he'd find a way to make fun of me for it. He's usually like that.”

You were unimpressed. “I'm pretty sure your brother is the kind of bro-dude to congratulate you on that kind of achievement, you know? You should go home and proclaim it proudly!”

“Huh. I guess you're right.”

Just then, his phone buzzed.

He looked at it, then at you, and sighed.

“Lemme guess, you gotta go?”

“Yep. Dinner time at the Mystery Shack.”

“Well, remember what I said, okay? And feel free to visit me again, I work here practically every day.”

“You got it, doll,” he smiled, taking out a cigarette and lighting it, “And maybe we'll do things a little differently!”

You laughed and reminded him as he took his exit, “Skull Fracture is non-smoking!”

 

As you put on your clothes, you thought to yourself, if that's how good _one_ Pines was, you _had_ to find out how good the other one was... _Mystery Shack_ , was it?

**Author's Note:**

> u fuckin' slut


End file.
